Run for your lives! Head for the hills! Every cat and stuffed animal for himself!
What are you talking about?
The Writer gave up sugar, haven't you heard? Life in this house will be utter misery. The crankiness. The moodiness. The yowling. The tantrums.
Sounds like one of your typical days. Yes, The Writer has made the brave decision to give up sugar and refined flour. That means no "cookie" for you when The Writer used to have her evening sweet treat.
She always broke off a little piece for me--I like angel food cake the best.
Funny, I think of you as a devil's cake type. Anyway, she needs our support.
But I can't beg for any of this stuff she's eating now. Sprouted wheat bread. Flax cereal. Crackers covered in birdseed. Did you try one of those? It's like eating a poker chip. All her food is brown.
All your food is brown.
Yeah, but I like human treats. High fructose corn syrup . . . dextrose . . . yum! The good thing is it probably won't last. None of her diets do. And when she falls off the wagon again, I'll be there, waiting for my angel food cake.
You're so loyal. So faithful. I'm all teary-eyed.